Showing posts with label binoculars. Show all posts
Showing posts with label binoculars. Show all posts

Thursday, June 4, 2015

Entertainment at Sea.


Watching greedy pigs being fed on a beach. Very entertaining.


Back when Hans and I were land based in the good old U.S. of A., we were easily entertained thanks to things like; Direct-TV, internet, and cell phone service. But, since we have virtually none of those particular amenities in the pretty much off the beaten path of the Exumas, we've had to find other sources of entertainment.

When we were in Staniel Cay and Blackpoint Cay, we would dinghy ashore daily and meet our fellow cruising friends. When we're anchored near a sandy beach we can take Wilbur ashore and let him burn off some steam.

There are some areas in the Exuma Park Cays with mooring balls scattered in the anchorages. The nice thing about this is, the holding is pretty good so we choose to anchor instead of paying the $20.00 per day fee. However, not everyone wants to anchor and so they choose a mooring ball instead. And that's when things can get pretty entertaining.

A couple of days ago, I witnessed possibly the most bizarre mooring ever attempted, and also discovered that holding a pair of binoculars to your face for over an hour will give you a headache.

This particular crew, after hooking the mooring pennant with their boat hook several times and then dropping it because they had no idea what to do with it, finally figured out they needed lines on the bow of their boat with which to tie it to. But instead of tying a line to a cleat and threading it through the eye of the pennant, one of the men (Man #1) jumped into their dinghy, zoomed around to the bow, tied a line to the mooring and then attempted to toss it up to another man (Man #2) on the deck. For some reason Man #2 on the deck decided to forego using the boat hook and the line kept falling back into the water where it then managed to get wrapped around the propellor of their dinghy motor. Since the dinghy was now rendered useless it got tied to the mooring ball. "What are they doing now?" Hans asked. With my elbows propped on the coaming because my arms were getting tired from holding the binoculars up for so long, I commented that Man #2 was dropping a couple of items down to Man #1. "Oh, my god," I laughed. "He's throwing swim fins down to him." The big boat was still not secure, and now Man #1, who'd been in the dinghy was now in the water. "You won't believe this!" I told Hans, but since I refused to give up the binoculars I had to describe the situation. "The guy in the water is still trying to toss a line up to the guy on the boat, and the guy on the boat is just standing there." "Still no boat hook?" Hans asked. "No boat hook," I confirmed. Of course the big boat drifted away and my heart was in my throat when Man #2 charged back toward the mooring while Man #1 had to fend himself off the hull. Miraculously, Man #2 finally caught the tossed line and secured it to the bow. For awhile we were afraid they were only going to use one line but then Man #2 dropped another line down to Man #1 who then tied it to the mooring and once again went through the agonizing procedure of throwing the other end back up to Man #2.

It's hard to believe these guys were on a motor yacht that's probably worth close to a million dollars. Some people have more money than sense.

The next morning when we went for a dinghy ride I made Hans take us past their boat so I could see exactly what they'd done. They used lines that have a loop in one end. On each line they ran the loop through the eye of the pennant and then ran the line through the loop to the boat so no way in hell could they release it from the mooring without doing it from the water. And as the boat moved with the wind and the current, one line would bear the whole weight of the boat while the other line went slack. They did absolutely nothing right and I felt sorry for the people anchored directly behind them (and earlier those people had moved far away from the rest of us because they thought we were all too close), because if those lines had chafed through, that huge boat would have drifted right down on them.


On to other forms of entertainment.


Even though they may not admit it, all cruisers listen in on other peoples conversations on the VHF. Unfortunately the conversations aren't always interesting but sometimes you can pick up a weather forecast or some good local navigation information.


We used to play a lot of Scrabble but since our games usually tend to run into the wee hours (like 8 PM or so) we would just go to bed expecting to pick up the game the next day. Normally, this would be okay if we lived in a house that didn't move. So until we invest in an expensive 'boat safe' version (meaning it can withstand the resulting wakes from inconsiderate motor-heads), or we delight in figuring out the hieroglyphics of the previous night's game with our morning coffee, we've given that up for now. We did find a backgammon game at a cruiser's library (boat speak for 'the head') at a transient marina and we've played several games during lazy afternoons.


Back when we had TV, Hans and I occasionally enjoyed a movie night on the Knotty Cat. We'd settle down with our drinks and popcorn and spend the evening laughing until we cried while we watched free DVD's from our local library; Spinal Tap (the Stonehenge scene nearly did me in), Waiting for Guffman, Victor Borgia (believe it or not, our generation did not invent humor and Mr. Borgia was a comedic genius), and anything we could find that starred Ben Stiller. But we don't use our TV now and have accidentally rediscovered the ancient art of 'reading aloud'. It happened the other night in the cockpit when Hans felt the need to share a passage from Dave Barry's newest book. Once again we got to laughing and finally had to stop so we could blow our noses. I have a feeling we'll continue this pastime until we get back to the states.

And last but not least. If you find yourself at anchor and have no neighbors to spy upon, you can always take candid cheesecake photos of your dog or cat and then come up with what you believe are hysterically brilliant memes (your Facebook friends may think otherwise). This can be highly entertaining, for a little while anyway, although probably not so much for your pets who would actually prefer you go read to each other in the cockpit and leave them the hell alone.


 

 

 

 

 

Friday, August 13, 2010

Cobb Island

Because of its location in the Potomac, and the fact that it had a very nice market within dinghy and walking distance, Cobb Island, Maryland became a bit of a home away from home for us this summer, and we ended up anchoring there on three separate occasions.

The first time we showed up and anchored, I felt a bit like the main attraction at a freak show. For such a small town there was a surprising amount of traffic in the channel, and each and every boat slowed down to a crawl while the occupants stared at us with open mouths. After I checked to make sure I was adequately clothed (it was so hot, there were days when we wore next to nothing), we just didn't get it. The staring continued during our next two visits but by then we were used to it.

We finally decided it was because we were the only sailboat that ever anchored there. Everyone else had stink pots (very loud motor boats), tattoos, and cigarettes hanging out of the sides of their mouths (even in their cockpits where the smell of gasoline hung very heavy in the air), and if they didn't have slips, they tied up long enough to enjoy a visit at the Drift Away Bar and Grill (we ate lunch there one day and they have really great food) before motoring on.




During our second and third anchorages, a trawler (its name won't be disclosed here!) anchored beside us and even though to my absolute horror the captain and his mate spent quite a bit of their time sitting around 'in the buff' (I know this for a fact because I have binoculars you know!) they still didn't get the attention Hans and I did.
And believe me it wasn't a pretty sight!

But imagine how the stares increased when we finally broke out the red neck awning (purchased at WalMart a couple of years ago)! What took us so long to use it is beyond me but for the rest of the trip that awning was strung up on a regular basis and literally saved us from being fried like eggs on a sidewalk.







Life on Cobb Island is slow and we spent our days reading, drinking beer, staring at people staring at us, and watching Billie Joe McAllister jump off the Tallahatchie Bridge.
"That's not the Tallahatchie Bridge." Hans informed me (in his sensible voice) after I excitedly informed him of what I'd witnessed.

I told him to look for himself just as a couple of additional bodies hurtled over the railing and into the water.

Apparently during sizzling hot summers, a favorite past time for Cobb Island youths is to jump off the bridge. If I weren't such a coward at heart and not afraid of heights, jelly fish, or water of unknown depths, I would have gladly joined them if it meant keeping cool.


(This is a crappy picture but it's the bridge and those little dots in the water towards the bottom, are the kids)





It was during our third anchorage at Cobb Island that the Knotty Cat decided to test our sanity. Hans thought something didn't seem to be quite right after dropping the anchor because we weren't swinging properly into the wind, but after putting her in reverse a couple of times she held fast. The next day we thought our bearings were a bit off, but what the hell did we know anyway?

That's when I realized we were a lot closer to the 'no wake zone buoy' than we should be.

"We're a lot closer to the no wake zone buoy than we should be." I announced.

"No we're not."

"Yes we are."

"No we're not."

"Then why is the no wake zone buoy about to be rammed up our boat's ass?" I asked as our stern plowed into it.

"Oh shit! We're dragging!" Hans had to admit.

We fired up the engines and re-anchored thus giving the locals something more to stare at, but at least we held firm this time.


And finally, Cobb Island is where I witnessed the infamous cormorant fight.

Hans had gone ashore and Wilbur and I were left to fend for ourselves. I was watching the morbid battle with my binoculars when I realized a passing motor boat consisting of an entire family of Dad, Mom, and kids was staring at me. Embarrassed at being caught with my binoculars I tried explaining myself by frantically pointing toward the gruesome fight. Dad laughed and shouted to me, "They're fornicatin'!" and I shouted back, "No they're not! They're fighting over a snake!" Only then did the bored family come to life and they all leaned over the side in excitement in order to see the battle, leading me to believe that fornicating is a pretty dull routine on Cobb Island.

I gotta tell you, this trip was way better than reality TV.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Entertainment for the live aboard boater



I proudly admit to being a member of the TV Generation. I grew up with Leave it to Beaver, The Brady Bunch (I identified with Jan), my all time favorite The Andy Griffith Show, and later on The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Carol Burnett, and of course Saturday Night Live.

For a fat teenager with thick glasses, frizzy hair, and acne, TV can be a great companion when all your friends have dates for the weekend.


Before we moved on board the first thing I did each morning, even though Hans thinks it's total fluff, was turn on The Today Show (I love Meredith Viera). "You call that news?" he would call out from the safety (especially if I hadn't had my coffee yet) of the kitchen.

We do have a TV on board but since but since it's an energy sucker and we're watching our batteries like maniacs, it rarely gets turned on. We have the paperbacks that we bought for fifty cents each at a library sale, board games, and now my favorite; binoculars.

I bought Has a set of Steiner's a couple of years ago never knowing they could be so entertaining. We've watched hawks sitting proudly atop masts as they stake out their next prey, gazed in awe at the ungainly yet graceful flight of herons, and peeked into Osprey nests hoping to catch sight of new babies. One day I watched a sailor march his dog to the bow of his boat where the pooch promptly did its business. I thought Hans should dinghy on over and ask how the hell he managed to train his dog so well but he refused.

Then during our 'stranded at anchor' weekend I noticed a fellow boater was spending a lot of time rowing to and from his boat via his dinghy. Each time he left he had a full pouch at his feet and I was fascinated.

Me (feeling all Grace Kellyish in my own version of Rear Window): That guy's been going back and forth from his boat to land all day long. What's up with that?

Hans looking up from the Nigel Calder book that he should have read before this voyage: Huh?

I repeat my question.

Hans: He's probably getting supplies.

Me still peering through the binoculars: I think he murdered someone and he's getting rid of the body parts.

Hans gazing into space with that 'I have an idea look': I wonder if we could use the dinghy to tow the boat to that dock.

The next morning I caught Hans with the binoculars.

Hans: Take a look.

I almost choke. The man with the body parts bag has just brought a woman on board his boat and he's hauling up his anchor.

I spend the rest of the day preparing my speech for the local news casters (maybe I'll even get on The Today Show and meet Meredith) detailing my suspicions about the man who becomes known as the Back Creek Killer after he's discovered disposing of yet another body. I also hope we get to shore so I can wash my hair first.

Imagine my disappointment when I wake up the next morning to see the killer's boat reanchored and his date very much alive and sporting a perky little straw hat.

Hans: See? I told you he wasn't a killer.

Me, with the binoculars trained on another boat: Did you notice that monohull over there? I'm positive there's someone on board because I've seen lights down below every evening, but no one ever comes above! I wonder what's going on?


This morning I couldn't find the binoculars, and my Rear Window DVD is missing.